Friday, March 5, 2010

The octo-mucous monster in my head

Even by triathlete standards, I'm hard to gross out. After all, once upon a time in my feckless youth I used to operate a big waste-water treatment plant. Most of the time you could eat off any visible surface it's kept that clean, hard as that might be to believe, but there were exceptions. I could go on about barminuters, for example, but won't. No, you can't imagine.

Like Jenna, I'm getting better. Slowly. The problem is that the octo-mucous monster in my head the last few days is very resistant to being removed from its habitat. It struggles. It clings. After I blow most of it out into a kleenex, there are still long ropy strands leading back into my nose and moustache. I can feel inside tugging on my sinuses and ear canals and eyeballs as I try to clean up. I almost need a shower afterward. There are days I wish I had a scale for an accurate before and after weighing. That's right, being a guy I'm fascinated with size, and often think that bigger is better. With one uncommon notable exception. There are days I want a medical fiberscope so I can see what's going on up there. Track the monster back to it's lair, as it were, and deal directly with the heart of the problem. Sounds like a Conrad novel, doesn't it? Hmmmmm.

Speaking of internal tugging, I've been effectively deaf most of the time since Tuesday evening. My ears didn't clear as we were landing. No wonder that kid was screaming, it was almost painful for me and I know what's going on. They'd clear for a bit, then plug up again, and have been doing so for several days. Now, Linda would say that I'm essentially deaf most of the time anyway, at least to things I don't want to hear, so it would be hard for any outside observer to tell the difference. But it does lead to odd results. For example, I know what noises the car makes on Deerfoot at 100+ Kph. Our car is much quieter than the cheap rental we had (an Elantra, whatever that is) and is much smoother. I was paying more attention to traffic than to my actual speed, till I noticed I was past 120 Kph. Oops. The short bit of biking I tried my rpm was all over the place because I couldn't hear the whir of the trainer, so I had to look at the rpm to maintain the desired pace.

The weather has been beautiful and it's just killing me that I can't run or bike outside. I mean, 10 C (50 F) is practically summer weather for Calgary! I tried walking yesterday and even that got my lungs going enough that I didn't even consider running. In fact, I went back to bed for an afternoon nap. I suppose this is a good thing overall, since it's also giving my legs a rest. I've been rollering them and doing regular stretching exercises for the IT band issue, but I don't know how much better they actually are. No point trying to do a serious workout till I can breath properly.


After some brisk walking during a big grocery shopping expedition to Co-op, Organic Planet, Costco, and the Farmer's Market, (and you can confidently expect a rant on shopping soon) I decided that I just had to go for a really really easy run, and see what my legs thought of it. I mean, it's 11 C, (52 F) some girls are in summer dresses, and it's sunny and warm. That's a quote from the weather people, sunny and warm. Here in Calgary you take summer when you get it. Yes, summer days can have melting snow, as this one does. After a couple big struggles with the octo-mucous monster, my lungs and sinuses are feeling pretty good. For now.

Started very easy, almost a pitter patter rather than a run. Kept the pace down and the turnover a bit quicker than normal, making sure my lungs aren't working hard at all. I know perfectly well that feeling this good will last a few hours, then it will be back to hitting the Nyquil. Ran 30 minutes very easy, feeling a bit of tightness in the back of my hams, down low just behind the knees. Just at the very end of the run I started getting the twinge that came on during the Hypo Half, so I walked the rest of the way home, stretching it. During the middle part of the run, it felt like my left toes were drifting outward a bit, but I watched and they were tracking straight ahead. Maybe that's related to the IT band issue. Stretched and rollered after. A massage is booked for Tuesday, and you can guess what I'm going to ask her to work on.

Supper was BBQ chicken (how can you not BBQ when it's this nice out?), salad, and roasted potatoes, with a berry tart for desert. Yum. Life is good, even with a cold.


  1. Damn you Kanadians. First you stole my TV signal, now you're hogging up the warm weather. It's been in the high 30's here, but I'd prefer 52F.

  2. it's 11 C, (52 F)

    Yeah, but what's that in kilometres?

    Heart of Mucous: It SNOT Your Father's Conrad Novel

    I'd read that. I'll also read your anti-shopping screed. Down here in Teh First World (i.e., Teh YOO ESS of AY), if you don't shop and thereby keep the gears of capitalism greased, as it were, with your mucous, you are With Teh Terrorists. Remember, Teh F*cktard In Chief told us all to go Patriotically Shopping the day after 9/11 and Mr. Hope and Change hasn't appreciably altered that approach because when he said "change" during the campaign, he meant possible change back from your dollar when you ordered a Happy Meal (<-- the number One Cause of Excess Bodily Mucous-Production, btw), but you had to BUY one first, especially now that Happy Meals are subsidized with your tax dollars. Hey, Wall Street Banker! You just ate at Mickey D's! Give your self a $10 million bonus, you Genius Titan of Industry!

    You Kanadians are soooo lucky you haven't evolved to the point where you have politicians.

    And by "evolved", I mean "devolved".

    Look! I just saved you the trouble of having to write that anti-shopping rant!

  3. Ugh, sorry your feeling that nasty shit in your head. That blows!

    How and what do you sell at a Farmer's market in Calgary the first week of MARCH?! Seriously. Do you have a FM year round?

  4. Yes Kristen, he does have FM year round. Maybe even FFM and MMF, but I haven't seen any posts lately about those.

    Get well, Keith.


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