Monday, May 13, 2013

Stampede food

Stampede is coming around again. I've already seen people (shudder!) dressed for it. There's more than a month to go, for goodness sake. There's a fine difference between people dressed for Stampede, and people that wear Western wear as a regular thing. If you have to ask, I can't explain it.

There are many emotions that go with Stampede. Today's is horror. I've been appalled and horrified by Stampede food since I knew there was such a thing, and then it got worse when I smelled it. The Calgary Stampede recently released its list of midway foods for this year, and once again it features a mix of adventurous snacks. Horrific snacks is more like it. The old stand by is "gut bombs" for the burgers.

This year seems to be building on the deep fried movement, but also debuts other tastes — such as shots of pickle juice. I don't even want to think about what other movements eating this stuff would induce, and thats before the rides.

"Deep fried delicacies like double bacon wrapped corndogs, deep fried bubblegum and, yes, even deep fried butter will have you craving something on a stick," said Stampede officials in a release. They say  with 31 new treats there is something for everyone, no matter how many calories midway goers want to consume. This all makes Prairie Oysters look tame. Take a deep breath and hold it down. Here's the list:

B52 fudge
Banana bacon ear
Chip dog
Cochinita pibil
Chocolate bacon apple
Chocolate bacon fudge
Chocolate cinnamon bear fudge
Chocolate covered bacon
Chocolate-dipped jalapeƱos
Deep fried avocado
Deep fried bubble gum
Deep fried butter
Deep fried Doritos
Deep fried pickled beans
Deep fried pie
Deep fried Philly cheesesteak rollup
Dessert fries
Double bacon corndog
Double smoked bacon wrapped cheese perogy skewer
Eggroll on a stick
Flautas de pollo
Frozen yogurt
Godzilla mac and cheese
Idaho nachos
Idaho taco
Naaco TNT
Philly cheesesteak
Pickle juice shooters
Shrimp chips
Sweet corn corndog
Western cake pops

Still with me? Makes on the bike triathlon "food" look like a gourmet feast, doesn't it? And no, I don't have any details about any of these things. I don't want to know. Trust me, whatever you imagine is far short of reality. Which is a good rule for anything related to Stampede.

In other news, it's been a sideways day for cranky legs. Not better, but not worse either. At least dancing only hurt once, briefly.


  1. if deep fried oreo was on the list, i might be tempted for a bite. of course, i'd immediately regret it..

    1. I seem to recall that deep fried oreo were on the list last year, or a few years ago. There's lots of regret around Stampede.

  2. Aren't Doritos already deep fried? As I was reading up on runners who sweat a lot, I came across the advice to drink pickle juice - so the pickle juice shooters may be OK for those who are going to run a marathon (believe me, I have not tried this - my mouth puckers at just the thought).

    Thanks for sharing the list, Keith. I'll stick to my usual fair food - cotton candy (hmmm, wonder why no one's thought to deep fry that yet :)

  3. I thought Doritos were baked? No matter. Runner tummys are under enough stress. A pickle shooter would probably make it possible to run a side contest at the aid station. Projectile vomiting accuracy and distance.

    My usual fair food is no food. This will be 33 summers in Calgary, been down to the Grounds once. Been to that physical location many times, of course, but they sanitize after Stampede.


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