A year goal achieved

I've been blogging just over 18 years now, hard as that is to believe. It's gone quick. My reasons for blogging have changed over the years, but they've never included building a readership of millions, or becoming famous, or making a ton of money.

Just as well. 

What with being mumble mumble years old and the recent cancer tests, I've been doing some thinking about what to do in the time remaining. There's a bunch of threads here, and I'll try to hit the high points and not bore anyone too badly.

My blog production had been going down since the peak in 2019, when I blogged more than once a day. Then again, there were photos from trips to Yukon and New Zealand to share. 2020 was still well above average, but then during COVID what else was there to do? 2021 was 147 blogs, 2022 was 141, 2023 was 110, and 2024 was 93 blogs, or a blog every 4 days or so.

It seemed I had nothing to say anymore. There didn't really seem to be a point. I was wondering if I should give it up. Somewhere along the way I gave up on Instagram. It started as a shitty way to share photos, but morphed into an exercise in branding narcissism and corporate advertising. Twitter was always a cesspool of vitriol and it didn't take long to figure out I wanted no part of it. I gave up on VERO when they sold out to the image pirates. Facebook is horrible, even with some of the add ons that seem to be more trouble than they're worth. While I've posted a few YouTube videos, I've never had any desire to be chasing their algorithm trying to attract and keep followers. I hear of other social media platforms, but I keep thinking, if you aren't paying for the product, you are the product.

Near the end of 2024 I decided to set a pass fail benchmark. Blog 10 times a month, or 120 blogs in a year, or give it up. This is essentially a blog every 3 days, half of my blog every 1.5 days that I did for a long time. I figured if I couldn't summon the energy or words to do that, I might as well join all the other bloggers that have stopped.

January was only 9, which didn't seem like a good start to me, but things gradually picked up, and I zoomed past the goal a few days ago. Yay me! The blogging will continue, at least as long as I keep that level of production. If there's a reason for publication stopping or slowing down, like being sick, that's one thing. But when I can't summon the energy to write, I'll stop.

Which leads to the cancer thing. I'd been going to the doctor for the annual checkups starting in my 40's or so, and especially once I got more active for triathlon. I missed a couple years during COVID because a doctor's office was the last place I wanted to be, and they didn't want to see nominally healthy people. The first one after that had the doctor saying I was boring. Then some test numbers started getting a bit toward the high side of normal. Then abruptly higher. There's been a bunch of lab tests, two different ultrasounds, several different doctors poking and prodding me, one of whom was the gateway to an MRI.

That at least was interesting, even if it started off a bit alarmingly. I got told I needed one to determine if there was cancer or not, and did I want the public health or private option. Public was free, but scheduling was unknown, could be weeks or months. Private was about $1,000 but would happen quick. When I asked if there was a pressing need for a test soon, he sort of shrugged and said it as the sort of thing you didn't know till the test was done. I picked public, with the option to go private if the wait looked long. That was Friday morning. The MRI people called first thing Monday morning with a date for less than a week out. Yay public health! Me getting very twitching wondering if there were some indications the doctors hadn't told me about that pushed me to essentially the front of the line.

The MRI was 8:30 PM on Halloween, be there at 8. I figured I'd scope out where to go in the daylight, which is something I like to do if I get a choice. Then go hang out at the Seaton library till the appointed hour. Except the library closes at 6 on Fridays. I chatted with a buddy and we discussed hanging out during that time, even though I had to fast for the test. I was in no mood to hand out candy to the kids.

Except when I went in at 4pm and asked the nice lady at the counter if I was in the right place, she checked me in, saying they'd probably be able to sneak me in early. Texts with buddy trying to sort out getting together. I had imagined it would be a happening place, but no. I saw 3 other people getting an MRI. I waited an hour, then got called in. My buddy pulled up just as I was walking out afterward, and we had a nice chat.

The MRI is an interesting experience. It's a snug tube for someone my size, but the bed slides in, then moves back and forth a bit. All I had to do was lie still, and hold my breath a few times. I loved the sounds. It was every sound effect from every science fiction movie or TV show except the Star Trek theremin. Plus the whole thing vibrated.

Then a week and a half later, I met with the specialist who would tell me what the images told him. That was a bit of a stressful time, but I tried to distract myself with other things. You can imagine my relief when nearly the first words out of his mouth were that the images were good, and there were no indications of a cancerous mass. We discussed a few related issues and I went home a lot happier.

Normally in my life my main concern has been 'why', and not so much, 'why not' but I was quite happy to make an exception in this case. The condition is not an unusual one for men my age, but they're exploring some of the other possible 'whys'. It'll be something to keep track of for a while at least. There's already been a lab test to rule out something else, and another test for mid December. Good thing I don't mind giving away my nearly perfect blood.

I've been plugging images into Lightroom since mid 2016. Lots of images. Fewer than before, but I'm getting more selective about what I take photos of. I'm getting better at getting the photo right the first time, as opposed to having to zero in on the settings. Plus there's the why of the photo, which I've been thinking about a lot more. Yes, I've been doing lots of thinking lately.

Which sort of ties back into the blog. Most of my photos go into the blog, but over the last few years I've been making some books. Since I got back from New Brunswick, I've been thinking about a trip book. Well, two books if I'm being honest. One is the book of photos from the trip, and the other is a year book. I did my first year book in 2024, and was quite pleased with how it turned out. 

Problem is there is quite a bit of overlap between them. At least it's a problem in my brain. I've been struggling with the narrative that goes along with the trip photos, and thinking about which photos belong, and why. There are a few really good photos, but many seem quite ordinary to me. Then again, when I'm in my dotage, trying not to drool as I'm looking through the books, even an ordinary photo might trigger a memory. 

The other version of photos is via film. The last batch I took did not turn out well for what I wanted, which wasn't a surprise given the weather. I need to get out more often with the film cameras, trying to find the sweet spot between finding good images worthy of being captured on film with the attendant costs, and being so picky I don't take any photos at all. Then there's printing an image in the darkroom which I haven't done recently, and want to. Winter is the best time for that.

In other news, Linda had fun in Morocco. I've offered her a guest blog spot, but she's still thinking about it.

Since this has been a thoughtful blog post, I thought I'd share an image from when I did some expansive thinking. You've seen photos from this vantage point, but I don't think any of you will complain about seeing another.

Of the Day

Driftwood (NZ)

Driftwood (NB)

Film

Linda

Newfoundland

New Brunswick

I didn't sit on the bench. Up close it didn't look that sturdy.

Why ever didn't I publish this, and maybe I did

90 days, or so ago

The old Lightroom computer, now displaying the many photos as a screen saver.

Flower

Landscape

Dino related