It hailed and snowed today. I saw all sorts of weather go past my office window during the 11 hours I was in it today. When I got home it was 3C outside, and looking like rain. At this point I was still willing to consider going outside for my ride. But after a bite to eat and one last look, I started seeing snowflakes in the rain. That was enough for me. Inside, on the trainer. But that's not the no shame part.
At the end of the Tues ride I got to thinking about Julie and making tiny adjustments to the bike. I'd been thinking of tweaking the saddle position slightly, and finally did it. I moved up maybe a quarter of an inch, and forward maybe the same at most. Riding just a bit more on Tues felt nice.
Then I got on the bike tonight. Hoo-ra! as Susi would say. It felt much better right from the start. I wasn't a minute into it when I knew I'd have a good session. Five minutes into my warm up I'm doing 95 rpm nice and easy. The stated goal was to have a high rpm easy gear workout, aiming to stay over 100 rpm. It turns out I set my goal too low. But that's not the no shame part.
After a 10 min warm up I started doing some max smooth rpm, 30 sec fast, 90 sec easy. OMG! 115 was easy. 120 was good. 125 was nice and steady. 120 for 10 sec then 125, then 130 for ten sec. 130 was a bit of work with a little bit of bouncing at the end. In all cases but the last I could have gone longer. Then I settled into some steady high rpm with some easy bits. That turned out to be 8 min at 100+ rpm and 2 min at about 85 rpm. Five times. At first it was hard to pedal as slow as 100. Really that's what it felt like. A couple times when I wanted to break the rythym I pedaled up to 110 rpm. Then 5 min cooldown for 1.25 hr. Almost all of this happened in mid to low zone 2, with the average heart rate at 103.
This was, no question, the single best spin session since I brought Estela home. I had fun on the bike. I felt strong and smooth and fast and comfortable. Granted, all this happened in an easy gear, BUT WHO CARES! (Ruby Rhod again.) I wanted a light and fast spin to flush out the legs, and get my lungs going just a bit. I could have gone on a little longer, but I was getting a bit tired (duh, with the run this am, do you think??) and wanted to go out feeling good. A bit of stretching finished off. I almost feel like going for another run, snow and all, but I'm not that stupid.
Here's the no shame part. To prove that I was in zone two, and because I was in a good mood, right from the start I sang along with the ipod sound track. Loudly. Where I didn't know the words I sang the lead instruments. Linda said that Amelia the cat kept giving her the most peculiar looks, and for a while tried to hide her ears. Here's the ride sound track for those that are interested:
My Best Friend's Girl - The Cars
Hello There - Cheap Trick (live in Budokan, just about the best rock and roll album ever!)
Atomic - Blondie
Bad to the Bone - George Thorogood
Bat out of Hell - Meat Loaf
Boom Boom - John Lee Hooker
The Boogie Bumper - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Balrog Boogie - Diablo Swing Orchestra
Good Times Roll - The Cars
Magical Mystery Tour - Cheap Trick
Rock this Town - Stray Cats
Black Dog - Led Zeppelin
Jumpin from six to six - Colin James
We Will Rock You - Queen
Tanzila - Hevia
Wonder Girl - Sparks
One Little Victory - Rush
Learning to Fly - Pink Floyd
Ironman Canada - DONE! What next?
Thursday, May 8, 2008
4am run in the rain!
Yes sleepy-heads (and you know who you are), I was out the door at 4AM into the pouring rain. It was 2 C out. It was colder than running in -whatever it was during the winter.
But the rain stopped about 20 minutes into it, and it turned into a nice run. I was worried about crashing and burning on my first 1.5 hour run. Rather than a long out and back, I ran a C shaped route through the neighbourhood so I wouldn't have too far to walk back. Just in case. My wife insisted I take my cellphone. (Note to self, next time put the cell phone in a different pocket than the cookies.)
The goal was to have a steady run, at the pace just before needing to start breathing deeply. Without a Garmin I don't know my pace throughout the run, but I know the heart rate where I started breathing deeper gradually got higher as I settled in. At fist it happened about 124 bpm, and gradually rose up to about 130 at the end of the run.
The run divided itself neatly into six 15 minute segments, 14/1. About the 50 minute mark I noticed a bit of a side stitch coming on, but it went away again. Legs were tired, but steady, with no real complaints. Walked a little before and after, with some stretching, but probably not enough. I turned around at the 44 minute mark. It was that or run on Anderson Road. Then I got back to my starting point right on 90 minutes, so the pace on the way back was 2 minutes slower. The last 15 minutes is mostly up hill and mostly into a very cold wind. I was thinking about singing Susi's "my toes are cold" song, but they weren't that cold, and the houses aren't that far way.
Overall a great run! I was a bit nervous about going that long, but it was all good. Ate two cookies early on, and drank energy drink throughout, probably half litre or so. 90 minutes 14/1, about 10.5 K. First time I've ever run that far. Ever in my life!
Biking for tonight looks like indoors. I saw snow this morning, and the weather says there's lots coming. I'll wait and see; I've been surprised by Calgary weather many times.
But the rain stopped about 20 minutes into it, and it turned into a nice run. I was worried about crashing and burning on my first 1.5 hour run. Rather than a long out and back, I ran a C shaped route through the neighbourhood so I wouldn't have too far to walk back. Just in case. My wife insisted I take my cellphone. (Note to self, next time put the cell phone in a different pocket than the cookies.)
The goal was to have a steady run, at the pace just before needing to start breathing deeply. Without a Garmin I don't know my pace throughout the run, but I know the heart rate where I started breathing deeper gradually got higher as I settled in. At fist it happened about 124 bpm, and gradually rose up to about 130 at the end of the run.
The run divided itself neatly into six 15 minute segments, 14/1. About the 50 minute mark I noticed a bit of a side stitch coming on, but it went away again. Legs were tired, but steady, with no real complaints. Walked a little before and after, with some stretching, but probably not enough. I turned around at the 44 minute mark. It was that or run on Anderson Road. Then I got back to my starting point right on 90 minutes, so the pace on the way back was 2 minutes slower. The last 15 minutes is mostly up hill and mostly into a very cold wind. I was thinking about singing Susi's "my toes are cold" song, but they weren't that cold, and the houses aren't that far way.
Overall a great run! I was a bit nervous about going that long, but it was all good. Ate two cookies early on, and drank energy drink throughout, probably half litre or so. 90 minutes 14/1, about 10.5 K. First time I've ever run that far. Ever in my life!
Biking for tonight looks like indoors. I saw snow this morning, and the weather says there's lots coming. I'll wait and see; I've been surprised by Calgary weather many times.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
nice swim
The goal for today was to have a nice smooth swim at my normal pace. No pushing to be faster, just smooth. I settled in pretty good right from the start feeling better than the swim the other day, and then it only got better. I'm really liking this idea of stating the goal for the workout. It helps with focus.
I communed with my inner shark for a while, just going back and forth in a contented way. He wanted to attack blubber guts in the next lane that swims so splashy, but I wouldn't let him. After a while he wandered off to where ever it is that inner sharks go when humans aren't paying attention, but came back during the last 5 laps.
I wasn't really keeping close track of time, but happened to check my watch at 1K, for 19:38, and at 2K for 39:48. So I was a hair off my pace for the last K, but I could feel myself getting sloppy during laps 25 to 35, then picked it up for a strong smooth finish.
It was nice to feel the water again, trying subtly different strokes to see how they felt. There's two distinct strokes now, and I'm not sure which is faster. Or which could be faster. I counted strokes per 25 m several times and was bang on 20 each time, without trying to minimize the number, just swimming. I felt strong and relaxed, and never even came close to running out of breath. My legs felt good from the spin session last night, but I didn't want to try to kick too hard.
Rest evening tonight, and that typically means laundry. I might have a go at the mystery inner tube. Pump it up and it slowly goes flat, but I can't find a stream of bubbles when I hold it under water. There's wine bottles to clean, maybe change back to the trainer tire because tomorrow evening looks too crappy for a ride outside. Plus get ready for another morning run. That will be my big run this week, so I'll have to be up ready to be out of the house at 4. That's AM for you sleepy-heads. I'll finish up at 5:30 just as my wife is getting out of bed.
40 min swim
20 min core and flexibility. Big progress on the one that goes like this. (demonstrates) I can almost get my toes out of the water!
I communed with my inner shark for a while, just going back and forth in a contented way. He wanted to attack blubber guts in the next lane that swims so splashy, but I wouldn't let him. After a while he wandered off to where ever it is that inner sharks go when humans aren't paying attention, but came back during the last 5 laps.
I wasn't really keeping close track of time, but happened to check my watch at 1K, for 19:38, and at 2K for 39:48. So I was a hair off my pace for the last K, but I could feel myself getting sloppy during laps 25 to 35, then picked it up for a strong smooth finish.
It was nice to feel the water again, trying subtly different strokes to see how they felt. There's two distinct strokes now, and I'm not sure which is faster. Or which could be faster. I counted strokes per 25 m several times and was bang on 20 each time, without trying to minimize the number, just swimming. I felt strong and relaxed, and never even came close to running out of breath. My legs felt good from the spin session last night, but I didn't want to try to kick too hard.
Rest evening tonight, and that typically means laundry. I might have a go at the mystery inner tube. Pump it up and it slowly goes flat, but I can't find a stream of bubbles when I hold it under water. There's wine bottles to clean, maybe change back to the trainer tire because tomorrow evening looks too crappy for a ride outside. Plus get ready for another morning run. That will be my big run this week, so I'll have to be up ready to be out of the house at 4. That's AM for you sleepy-heads. I'll finish up at 5:30 just as my wife is getting out of bed.
40 min swim
20 min core and flexibility. Big progress on the one that goes like this. (demonstrates) I can almost get my toes out of the water!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Tues evening spin
There were some logistical issues at our house last night that prevented me from getting the car all loaded up with bike stuff for spin class. Between the run in the morning, (yes indeed I was out the door at 4:35 AM) eating breakfast and showering I didn't have time today either.
It was kind of cool and looked like it would rain any minute when I got home this afternoon. I had a light supper and relaxed with a cat for a few minutes then headed into the basement for my spin session. Between the longish ride on Sunday and the run this morning I didn't want to put in a big bike session. The plan was to warm up thoroughly and do an easy gear, high cadence workout. I was mostly aiming for low zone 2.
Things went pretty well. I did some max smooth cadence bursts for 30 seconds, then 90 seconds easier. I maxed out about 125 rpm without bouncing. Settled in at 95 to 100 rpm for a while, then eased off a bit to cool down. I had initially though no more than 90 minutes, and called it a day at 60. My legs felt strong and relaxed, but the last max rpm after the main set was not as smooth as the ones before the main set. Stretched out afterward, and bed is calling me.
It was kind of cool and looked like it would rain any minute when I got home this afternoon. I had a light supper and relaxed with a cat for a few minutes then headed into the basement for my spin session. Between the longish ride on Sunday and the run this morning I didn't want to put in a big bike session. The plan was to warm up thoroughly and do an easy gear, high cadence workout. I was mostly aiming for low zone 2.
Things went pretty well. I did some max smooth cadence bursts for 30 seconds, then 90 seconds easier. I maxed out about 125 rpm without bouncing. Settled in at 95 to 100 rpm for a while, then eased off a bit to cool down. I had initially though no more than 90 minutes, and called it a day at 60. My legs felt strong and relaxed, but the last max rpm after the main set was not as smooth as the ones before the main set. Stretched out afterward, and bed is calling me.
Mon swim, Tues run
Totally spaced on updating my blog last night. Monday swim was ok. Full lanes. My choice was to swim with the two girls I often see. I usually swim faster than them, but lately we're about the same speed. Or, I could swim with the two guys that swim faster than me, one of them significantly faster. I was feeling rested and ready to go. Guess which I picked? Two guesses and the first doesn't count. In a half K, the one guy lapped me several times, and I think the other lapped me once.
I went out too hard from the beginning trying to keep up, and wasn't smooth. It took about 750 m to get back into the groove, and by then I was tired. It was a good workout, but I suspect if I'd joined the girls I'd have have warmed up a bit and got in the groove sooner by not trying to push the pace. Still, it was an ok time.
1K 19:30
20 minutes core and flexibility in the dive tank.
The run this morning was great! I just happened to wake up at 4:15 or so, with all my running stuff laid out the night before in the other bedroom. I was out the door at 4:35 to start the same loop down through Fish Creek I did a week or so ago. It's 7.7 K back to the house, and I had hopes of doing that in an hour. I got to about 7.3 K in the hour, then walked the last 500 m or so to cool down. I did a short walk and slow start to running to warm up. IG didn't specify a run/walk cycle, so I just ran, nice and easy. About the 35 minute mark I walked less than a minute while I was looking for a water fountain at Bebo Grove, but there isn't one.
But I did see a white tail deer also looking for a water fountain. Or something. It was cautious of me, but didn't go bounding off. I was within maybe 10 steps of it. That wasn't the case with the beaver. I think I startled it. First thing I know is there's a really loud splash in the pond beside the path, and some ripples looking like something big is swimming underwater. There were also a ton of bunnies out for their morning hop.
Legs felt good all the way through. There were tired noises, but no pre-cramp complaints. Toward the end I was getting a bit tired, and I don't think I was going as fast, and my heart rate was up a bit.
For the hour:
123 average heart rate
143 peak heart rate
87 min heart rate
930 total calories
I'd have liked to stretch a bit more, but I'm writing this at lunch time and things feel fine. I'm planning to spin at home tonight, doing easy gear, high cadence work to flush out my legs.
I went out too hard from the beginning trying to keep up, and wasn't smooth. It took about 750 m to get back into the groove, and by then I was tired. It was a good workout, but I suspect if I'd joined the girls I'd have have warmed up a bit and got in the groove sooner by not trying to push the pace. Still, it was an ok time.
1K 19:30
20 minutes core and flexibility in the dive tank.
The run this morning was great! I just happened to wake up at 4:15 or so, with all my running stuff laid out the night before in the other bedroom. I was out the door at 4:35 to start the same loop down through Fish Creek I did a week or so ago. It's 7.7 K back to the house, and I had hopes of doing that in an hour. I got to about 7.3 K in the hour, then walked the last 500 m or so to cool down. I did a short walk and slow start to running to warm up. IG didn't specify a run/walk cycle, so I just ran, nice and easy. About the 35 minute mark I walked less than a minute while I was looking for a water fountain at Bebo Grove, but there isn't one.
But I did see a white tail deer also looking for a water fountain. Or something. It was cautious of me, but didn't go bounding off. I was within maybe 10 steps of it. That wasn't the case with the beaver. I think I startled it. First thing I know is there's a really loud splash in the pond beside the path, and some ripples looking like something big is swimming underwater. There were also a ton of bunnies out for their morning hop.
Legs felt good all the way through. There were tired noises, but no pre-cramp complaints. Toward the end I was getting a bit tired, and I don't think I was going as fast, and my heart rate was up a bit.
For the hour:
123 average heart rate
143 peak heart rate
87 min heart rate
930 total calories
I'd have liked to stretch a bit more, but I'm writing this at lunch time and things feel fine. I'm planning to spin at home tonight, doing easy gear, high cadence work to flush out my legs.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The Road to Nepal is under construction
BUT WHO CARES! (Channelling Ruby Rhod from 5th Element there for a minute). Even a bad day outside on the bike is better than on the trainer, and today was a very good day.
The map will show you where I went. The pavement isn't so good when you leave 773 going down toward Millarville Race Track. However there's one spot about 20 into the ride where you're coming to the top of a hill, and you get a stunning view of the mountains and foothills. That's after a very long hill that's deceptive in places. I thought I was on a flat bit of road, and wondering why I'm only doing 12 Kph. The view makes it all worth it.
What a difference a few days of rest makes! Last Tuesday, an hour at 25 K and I was done like dinner. Today I could have kept going for a while yet. Here's the numbers:
65 K total distance, well, 64.89 according to the bike computer.
2:48 trip time
23.25 Kph average pace
75 rpm average cadence
77 Kph, max speed
129 average heart rate over bike leg
4:50 transition average heart rate 112
1st run K, 7:30 min, 130 average hr
2nd run K, 7 min, 132 average hr
128 average heart rate over whole workout
152 peak heart rate
80 min heart rate
3128 total calories
I started about 10 am, and the weather was PERFECT! Warm, but not too hot, with some nice cool breezes every now and then. My thought was to have a nice ride, with my only goal to keep my cadence up. I even stated that out loud as I got on Estela.
The construction slowed me down a bit. They're paving the transition from the road to the various driveways along the way and it makes me think they're going to put another layer on the road itself. I got slowed down twice, going down hill of course. There were a pair of flag girls holding a STOP sign, till I got close. Then once they realized I was old and out of shape, and not the young buff single rider they were hoping for, they flipped the sign around. I'm just glad they didn't point to the SLOW sign, and laugh at me.
On the way back I was riding with a guy called Marcus, and we had a nice chat about stuff. I don't know if it's the extra weight or what, but Estela goes down hills like a Peregrine falcon after prey. As I get stronger she'll start going up them faster too, and that's all good.
I took a long transition, mainly to take Estela back downstairs, and being careful not to fall down the stairs because of tired legs. The run felt heavy, clump, clump, clump to start, but it gradually got a bit better. I could really feel my legs wondering what was going on. Whereas I could have kept going on the bike, I was happy to stop the run and do some stretching, then have a nice warm shower.
Taking the rest was exactly the right thing to do. I had a couple nights with long deep sleep. I feel refreshed, had a great ride today, and I'm looking forward to getting in the pool tomorrow. I hope everyone else had a great weekend for workouts!
Oh, and I picked up a tighter cycling jersey. (Linda says oooh!) I was tired of the now loose jerseys flapping in the wind. Red and black from Speed Theory, of course, and chatted with IG a bit. While I was there Laura from spin class showed up to pick up her new Cervelo. Very nice!
Weekly totals, which are low because I took several days off.
Swim 1.0 hr
Bike 3.75 hr
Run 1.0 hr
total 5.75 hr, and now that I look at the IGP™ I'm only a couple of hours low.
No number this week because I haven't been to that pool. And last, but not least, the energy drink recipie. I swiped this from Impact Magazine, March/April issue and tweaked a bit. There's some other recipies in there as well.
Make 1 litre hot lemon tea. I use Celestial Seasoning Lemon Zinger.
Add 4 tsp honey
Add 1/4 tsp sea salt. (I actually use about half this)
Let cool a bit, then add a glug of orange juice. They say 8 tsp.
I like to refrigerate it overnight before a long ride. It has a nice clean clear taste, and best of all, it's practically free! Even better for my peace of mind, I can pronounce all the ingredients. I suppose if you wanted you could stir in some protien or electrote powder.
The map will show you where I went. The pavement isn't so good when you leave 773 going down toward Millarville Race Track. However there's one spot about 20 into the ride where you're coming to the top of a hill, and you get a stunning view of the mountains and foothills. That's after a very long hill that's deceptive in places. I thought I was on a flat bit of road, and wondering why I'm only doing 12 Kph. The view makes it all worth it.
What a difference a few days of rest makes! Last Tuesday, an hour at 25 K and I was done like dinner. Today I could have kept going for a while yet. Here's the numbers:
65 K total distance, well, 64.89 according to the bike computer.
2:48 trip time
23.25 Kph average pace
75 rpm average cadence
77 Kph, max speed
129 average heart rate over bike leg
4:50 transition average heart rate 112
1st run K, 7:30 min, 130 average hr
2nd run K, 7 min, 132 average hr
128 average heart rate over whole workout
152 peak heart rate
80 min heart rate
3128 total calories
I started about 10 am, and the weather was PERFECT! Warm, but not too hot, with some nice cool breezes every now and then. My thought was to have a nice ride, with my only goal to keep my cadence up. I even stated that out loud as I got on Estela.
The construction slowed me down a bit. They're paving the transition from the road to the various driveways along the way and it makes me think they're going to put another layer on the road itself. I got slowed down twice, going down hill of course. There were a pair of flag girls holding a STOP sign, till I got close. Then once they realized I was old and out of shape, and not the young buff single rider they were hoping for, they flipped the sign around. I'm just glad they didn't point to the SLOW sign, and laugh at me.
On the way back I was riding with a guy called Marcus, and we had a nice chat about stuff. I don't know if it's the extra weight or what, but Estela goes down hills like a Peregrine falcon after prey. As I get stronger she'll start going up them faster too, and that's all good.
I took a long transition, mainly to take Estela back downstairs, and being careful not to fall down the stairs because of tired legs. The run felt heavy, clump, clump, clump to start, but it gradually got a bit better. I could really feel my legs wondering what was going on. Whereas I could have kept going on the bike, I was happy to stop the run and do some stretching, then have a nice warm shower.
Taking the rest was exactly the right thing to do. I had a couple nights with long deep sleep. I feel refreshed, had a great ride today, and I'm looking forward to getting in the pool tomorrow. I hope everyone else had a great weekend for workouts!
Oh, and I picked up a tighter cycling jersey. (Linda says oooh!) I was tired of the now loose jerseys flapping in the wind. Red and black from Speed Theory, of course, and chatted with IG a bit. While I was there Laura from spin class showed up to pick up her new Cervelo. Very nice!
Weekly totals, which are low because I took several days off.
Swim 1.0 hr
Bike 3.75 hr
Run 1.0 hr
total 5.75 hr, and now that I look at the IGP™ I'm only a couple of hours low.
No number this week because I haven't been to that pool. And last, but not least, the energy drink recipie. I swiped this from Impact Magazine, March/April issue and tweaked a bit. There's some other recipies in there as well.
Make 1 litre hot lemon tea. I use Celestial Seasoning Lemon Zinger.
Add 4 tsp honey
Add 1/4 tsp sea salt. (I actually use about half this)
Let cool a bit, then add a glug of orange juice. They say 8 tsp.
I like to refrigerate it overnight before a long ride. It has a nice clean clear taste, and best of all, it's practically free! Even better for my peace of mind, I can pronounce all the ingredients. I suppose if you wanted you could stir in some protien or electrote powder.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
The Floating Elephant Rule
Given some of the interest about this rule, I thought I'd write it up in more detail since I'm not downstairs spinning my brains out and legs off.
Picture yourself minding your own business on a river bank. The river is a metaphor for the world. One day an elephant floats by in a canoe, or in a barge, or whatever. You've heard of elephants, but never seen one. You stop what you're doing, and watch it float by.
Now, it is futile to speculate on how the elephant got there, where it's coming from, where it's going, what will happen there, if the elephant is enjoying the process, who is worried about the elephant, or an infinity of other questions. There are an infinity of answers to each of these questions, and to explore them is to follow a road that George Cantor has already explored. You have better things to do with your time.
It is even more futile to swim out and try to ask the elephant questions or investigate the situation. You will only be dragged further from home every minute. There will be no explanation written out neatly for you and elphants are known for not having much to say. You will only discover more questions. Plus, you run the risk of the elphant thinking that you are interfering with it's plans or that you are a toy to play with. You have better things to do with your time.
Worst of all is to bring it back home with you, even if it seems amiable. It will eat you out of house and home, and since it's found an obliging human, it will never leave. If you try to make it leave, it will resent you, and keeping coming back. Elephants are known for having good memories and being stubborn. Whatever else you had going on in your life now includes taking care of an elephant until it chooses to leave. You do not want this to happen.
The odds of getting rich from the novelty of owning an elephant by charging admission to ride it, or by taking a commission on the paintings it creates is very, very small. Don't forget that many municipalities have rules against having pets that large, and the few that don't charge large licensing fees.
So what do you do? You just watch it go by, then go back to what you were doing. You might want to look at it carefully so you can describe it to your friends and family. But that's all. It floated into your life, and if you let it, it will float out.
Now, this came up in the context of married men, and their relationships with their wives. Everybody that's been married knows what I'm talking about. Guys, virtually everything your wife says and does is a floating elephant. The correct response is to smile, say "Yes, dear", and go about your business. At least, that's as correct as a married man can ever get.
But I've discovered it works everywhere. As soon as you start identifying situations, or people, or ideas as floating elephants, you wil find your life is enormously simplified. Plus, in some circumstances, it's outright hilarious in ways that you can never explain to anyone else.
There is one further possibility related to floating elphants that you need to be aware of. Very rarely the elephant will come aground beside you, either by accident or on purpose. I'm sorry to say that once this happens the elphant is not likely to float away again, and you probably have to DO something about it. The rule in this case is known as the Andy Kelp rule. "Every day is another opportunity to triumph over the unexpected." Good luck, and let me know how it turns out.
Picture yourself minding your own business on a river bank. The river is a metaphor for the world. One day an elephant floats by in a canoe, or in a barge, or whatever. You've heard of elephants, but never seen one. You stop what you're doing, and watch it float by.
Now, it is futile to speculate on how the elephant got there, where it's coming from, where it's going, what will happen there, if the elephant is enjoying the process, who is worried about the elephant, or an infinity of other questions. There are an infinity of answers to each of these questions, and to explore them is to follow a road that George Cantor has already explored. You have better things to do with your time.
It is even more futile to swim out and try to ask the elephant questions or investigate the situation. You will only be dragged further from home every minute. There will be no explanation written out neatly for you and elphants are known for not having much to say. You will only discover more questions. Plus, you run the risk of the elphant thinking that you are interfering with it's plans or that you are a toy to play with. You have better things to do with your time.
Worst of all is to bring it back home with you, even if it seems amiable. It will eat you out of house and home, and since it's found an obliging human, it will never leave. If you try to make it leave, it will resent you, and keeping coming back. Elephants are known for having good memories and being stubborn. Whatever else you had going on in your life now includes taking care of an elephant until it chooses to leave. You do not want this to happen.
The odds of getting rich from the novelty of owning an elephant by charging admission to ride it, or by taking a commission on the paintings it creates is very, very small. Don't forget that many municipalities have rules against having pets that large, and the few that don't charge large licensing fees.
So what do you do? You just watch it go by, then go back to what you were doing. You might want to look at it carefully so you can describe it to your friends and family. But that's all. It floated into your life, and if you let it, it will float out.
Now, this came up in the context of married men, and their relationships with their wives. Everybody that's been married knows what I'm talking about. Guys, virtually everything your wife says and does is a floating elephant. The correct response is to smile, say "Yes, dear", and go about your business. At least, that's as correct as a married man can ever get.
But I've discovered it works everywhere. As soon as you start identifying situations, or people, or ideas as floating elephants, you wil find your life is enormously simplified. Plus, in some circumstances, it's outright hilarious in ways that you can never explain to anyone else.
There is one further possibility related to floating elphants that you need to be aware of. Very rarely the elephant will come aground beside you, either by accident or on purpose. I'm sorry to say that once this happens the elphant is not likely to float away again, and you probably have to DO something about it. The rule in this case is known as the Andy Kelp rule. "Every day is another opportunity to triumph over the unexpected." Good luck, and let me know how it turns out.
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