Keith's Odyssey to Planet Fitness: An updated character conference

As the opening for many Monty Python skits, and now for something completely different.

If you've been following along for a while you know there is a novel brewing away in the background. Several interrelated novels, in fact. Do not hold your breath about seeing it published. To help you get caught up with the story.

In 20018 there was this.

In 2025, there was this. Which is the important one to read if the details have escaped you. It includes a Belinda snippet, if that intrigues you. Although the beginning of that has changed, for complicated reasons. There was a reference to the Rah team, which is Moira and her best friends, Sierra, Sarah, Clara, Cassandra, Kendra, and Laura. Do I really need to explain how they got that nickname?

I don't really have a topical photo, so I'll give you this just so a nice image shows up in the preview.

Moira's story has been percolating in the background, since her parents Rob and Mary getting killed drive some of what happens to Belinda, Les, and Dwen. I couldn't figure out how to start it, then realized that starting the story with her birth in about 2000 and telling it chronologically made no sense. Instead, it starts with her parent's death via a phone call from a police captain in Mexico. Some of the story is told in flashbacks.

From there if flowed, if not like a waterfall, then maybe a fast river. I can't remember when I actually started writing it, but it's 114,000 words now. Part of the story is how Moira meets her paternal grandparents leading to the series of hospice paintings. It branched out into Belinda and Moira building a big house with custom designed art studio and workshop between grade 11 and 12, and then Cass and Sierra moving into the guest bedrooms near the beginning of grade 12. There are numerous other stories woven in, like the explanation for the famous tepid tub and other events related Zoe's pregnancy, Moira's huge whiteboard and a complicated family painting, the idea fairy, the cheating rules for game night at Llew and Zoe's place, learning how Belinda moves from working at the plant as an operator to being an engineer, and much more.

The story of Kendra and her abusive parents has also been percolating, and I had no idea how to write that one. Then a few days ago I had the brainwave that since Kendra orchestrates her own disappearance, the story can't be told from her perspective. She doesn't appear in it at all, except for the instances of "Kendra said..." It's told from the perspective of the police talking to her friends, their parents, and school staff, trying to sort out all the conflicting stories Kendra put out.

They range from the plausible, getting a ride from a buddy of a buddy to Jasper or some small town to get a job as a waitress, hustle for tips, and lead a low profile life till the dust settles, to the improbable, such as swapping identities with another girl her age who is dying from leukemia, who she meets while working for Moira doing hospice paintings. That's up to about 11,000 words now. I know how she escapes, and it's a fun story, and it's been fun coming up with the various stories told to cops, with all involved cheerfully admitting this is what they were told, and that they didn't believe it themselves. In all of this, nobody actually lies to the cops except Kendra's parents.

What amuses me about this is that we're currently working our way through the Poirot TV series, and have watched any number of detective shows. These usually involve the police being dull plodders at best, usually dimwitted, and sometimes outright stupid caricatures. Poirot, or Miss Marple, or Sherlock Holmes, or Mike Shepherd ask the right questions to elicit the crucial information, and put the story together the right way to catch the criminal.

I'm treating the police (with one exception) investigating the disappearance as competent and professional, asking the right questions as they follow a procedure, and that the planning for the stories was done with this in mind. They are currently building a timeline, trying to figure out how the disappearance could happen and who could have been involved. Let's just say the police are confused, especially since they are working with a flawed timeline because the parents lied. This might grow some more.

Just now there are some preliminary character talks to figure out how to deal with the events following Les and Dwen renting their house to Penny and David. I'm not sure exactly when that is, since that's part of the Aeon timeline revision. I think Moira is in her early 20's then. There are people planning to give Belinda what she has coming to her, and she's going to like it. I'm pretty sure. There is a related (I think) story of Belinda and Dwen meeting an old and extremely competent military commander who has an interest in them and a reputation that verges on terrifying. There is speculation about aliens who instead of traveling in UFO's and giving people anal probes, throw swanky parties as an alternative route to world domination.

And people wonder why I sometimes look distracted, trying to figure out how all that goes together.

Should I give you a snippet? I think so. Moira is 12, working in her street fair booth and by chance meets a new family member.

Moira was enjoying the day. When she wasn’t actually drawing she chatted with people passing by. Some of her friends dropped by to say hello and see if they or their parents were needed to act as shills, but there was no need.

She felt eyes on her, and looked up to see an older woman standing just outside. Most of the people at the fair were in casual clothes appropriate for a warm summer day, but she was dressed like she was going to a formal tea party. Moira was puzzled at the intensity of the woman’s open mouthed stare, and guessed it was surprise at seeing someone so young selling portraits.

She smiled and started her sales pitch. “Hello, are you interested in getting a drawing done?”

The woman was still staring, and her soul indicated interest, so Moira gestured to the wall of drawings in plastic sleeves hanging from the sunshade.

“I can do a cartoon doodle in a few minutes, and not much longer for a quick sketch like the ones there. A more detailed drawing takes a bit longer, but you don’t have to be here the entire time. That’s what I’m doing right now. All those are quite a reasonable price. I can also do a formal painted portrait, but that would be a separate session another day and we’d have to negotiate the price. I know this is unusual these days, when anyone can take a photo with their phone, but this is original signed artwork and I like to say I capture more than what a camera does.”

The woman still didn’t say anything. If anything the intensity of her stare increased.

Moira saw the interest and turmoil in her soul, so she held up the drawing of Claire and said, “If you were thinking I’m too young, it really is me doing them. You can watch me finish this one and decide then, if you like. Claire might even come back while you’re here, and you can compare her to the drawing.”

The woman’s eyes went briefly to the drawing, but came back and focussed on Moira. She still didn’t say anything, and Moira decided it was time for the woman to speak up or go away, and went for the closing prompt.

“You seem really interested, which kind of drawing are you thinking about?”

The woman came to life. “My goodness! It was rude to stare, and I apologize, but I was never so startled in my entire life. You look and sound exactly like my memories of my sister as a young woman, although your eyes are hazel and hers blue, and you wear your hair shorter. Other than that, even now with the age difference the resemblance is astonishing.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes! If we could put a photo of you into a photo of us at your age, people would think I had twins for sisters, with different haircuts so people could tell them apart. Of course, such short hair wasn’t fashionable back then but it looks great on you.”

Moira combed her hair with her fingers. “I like it short so it’s easy to take care of and gives me more time to work on art.”

“Even the way you just did that is like her, and the expression on your face is bringing back memories of my childhood. We had so much fun. She’s a couple of booths down and you have to meet. I’ll get her and you’ll see. Please don’t go anywhere.”

She paused a moment as she finished talking, almost like watching to see if a pet given the command to stay, was actually going to stay. Then she turned and marched down the row of booths.

Moira looked at her drawing of Claire, but realized she had lost her focus. She watched for the sisters to come back, and quickly realized that if anything, the woman had understated the similarity. She was taller and bigger overall, with a mature woman’s figure. In addition to the eye colour and hair style, her face had some smile and laughter lines but was otherwise identical.

“Wow! You weren’t kidding, not even a bit.”

The first woman Moira had seen said, “Didn’t I tell you?”

“Goodness gracious! You’ve got some growth coming, but this is like seeing my preteen self. I often wore jeans and a T shirt exactly like you are now. It gave me a bit of a turn, to be honest.”