Thursday, July 21, 2011

I can never, ever shave the mustache

I have now officially lost count of the people who recognize me first, some of whom call me by name. It happened again today at work. There I am, in a fog, walking through the lobby of Banker's Hall to get a coffee.

"Hello Keith!" I peer through the fog and draw a blank. She introduced herself, and then I remembered. I worked with LL for a little while. I remembered once she reminded me, but we haven't seen each other for about 2.5 years. Either she has a phenomenal memory, or that mustache is seared into her brain. It also happened just a little while ago, at work again (I don't get out much, remember, and when I do it's likely to be for work). She remembered me from spin class and emailed me.

Then again, if I ever want to be invisible, I'll just shave it off. According to Cracked Magazine I should anyway, since supposedly they are worn only by porn stars, wanna-be's, and assorted other dickless wonders. I think it looks like Einstein's, or maybe Sam Elliott's without the handlebar bit, so there won't be any shaving of it.

The other problem with this whole darn recognition thing is that it's a tough thing for guys, especially forgetful, distracted, middle aged guys like me. Women are always doing things. Changing their hair colour and hair style. Different glasses, even different eye colour from contacts. Different facial colours from tans and other "product". Different heights from different heels. Entirely different shapes due to fluctuating weight and various foundation garments, as they have been called. What's a guy to do? Say hello and you've goofed she'll think you're a pervert or trying to hit on her. Not say hello and if you've goofed she'll think you're mad at her or something. Sigh. Unlike guys. I've worn the same hair style, gradually getting shorter, since I was a child. Same colour. Like most guys.

Tuesday evening was a train wreck of a shit show. The whole story is much too long to go into, but I was on the phone with Visa for about 2 hours, when I wanted to be out running. Still it was probably good, because I might not have made it back when the skies opened up and it rained and hailed and I don't know what else all. It was dark and loud.

Wednesday we went out for a BBQ social. JH is a very good with the BBQ, the rest of the food was wonderful, and we had a great time. But no run. And maybe just as well. My knee has been feeling a little bit like it did after the prolotherapy shots. Kind of full and a bit stiff and kind of aching. I remember Monday or Tuesday night rolling over and hearing a huge "crack" from my knee. Maybe I did something, or the easy spin on Monday was harder than I thought.

Tonight I warmed up carefully. It was one of those runs where nothing felt right. My legs were heavy, my breathing was up, my stride didn't feel natural. My hams were a bit tighter than normal, even with stretching. It got a bit better over the course of the half hour run, but not much. Still, it's better than not running.


  1. LOL... I am guilty of all of the above mentioned vaiations...and probably a few more. Poor men, I had no idea the stress it causes...

  2. I've shaved off my beard a few times (now that it's gray, I think about it again), once just because my boss insisted that no man shaves off a beard once he's had one for five years. It's then that I realize my chin is receding and way off center... and i grow it back.

    Moustaches only work if you have a wide space between nose and upper lip (which I don't and you do).


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