14610 days to ruby

That seems like a lot of days, but it went by in a blur. Add in 60 days or so, and we were sitting in a bank office, signing paperwork for what seemed like all the money in the world at a brutal interest rate. I think it was 12 or 13%. The initial mortgage term was 15 years, and that was an eternity. Then again, we were callow youths at the time. 

The first couple years were a little scary, but we both had steady jobs for the City, even if shift work was beginning to take a toll on me. We were fortunate our budgeting was good and we didn't have any emergencies. There wasn't much left over at the end of the month but we scraped by.

Things change. Interest rates went down. We made more money. There are lots of years I made more than that initial mortgage amount. We put some money into the house over the years on renovations and upkeep. We look at what we could sell it for now, and we're totally gobsmacked. We never dreamed house prices would go up this much. The problem with selling is that we would have to find somewhere to live.

Much as I'd like to live somewhere the air doesn't hurt my face for part of the year, those places are expensive. The house we'd like to live in might not be particularly big, but it's going to be nice, and that translates to expensive. Plus there's all the stuff in this house we'd have to deal with. 

So we're likely to stay in this house till we can't take care of ourselves in it. Somewhere along the way we might not want to be cutting the lawn and shovelling snow, but there are people willing to do that. We already pay other people to do things like painting when needed. I can do it, I just don't want to. 

The hard part is taking care of ourselves. It's a slippery slope. Like the lobster in the pot of water that is gradually heating up, slow changes creep up on you. It's easy to let things go, and then you're missing showers for multiple days in a row, or medications aren't being taken properly. Neither of us is on any medications now, but that will almost certainly change. Big Pharma and getting older will intersect sooner or later.

Children are often the ones that notice their parents are losing their grip, physically or mentally. Except we don't have any of those. We each have some cousins that live within a short drive, but one couple is our age, and the other is just a bit younger. We're going to die if we fall down and wait for one of them to show up. Sooner or later we are going to be shopping for a granny nanny.

It seems that we're rare creatures. Married 40 years. Both in good health. Our travel isn't hiking in the Himalayas or anything like it, but we're still able to travel, even if I hate airports now. We've got a long weekend in Pincher Creek for a photography conference, and a June trip to visit the grizzly bears. Musing about a trip to New Brunswick and PEI, or going to Haida Gwaii. The thought is to travel while we still can.

According to stats here, the average length of a marriage in Canada is 15.3 years. Just over two thirds of first marriages end within 40 years. I'm not sure why that is, but I suspect one of the big reasons is the constant barrage of messages that you deserve more. A better car. A bigger house. An important job. All the toys. A spouse who is everything, best friend, sex partner exactly as kinky as you are, hot date, rich, beautiful, or in other words, the unobtanium that powers science fiction space ships. Once you've been married a while it's easy to see the faults in the other person, and if divorce is easy, why not?

I've been trying to think of people about our age still married after 40 years. My cousin Vivian just celebrated 44 years. Linda's cousin Terry is a little past 40 years, though we aren't sure of the exact number. My friends Gord and Gail have been together about that long, but actually married much less time. There's some where I don't know the number but it could easily be in that range. Feel free to comment and tell me how long.

The stats say fewer people are getting married, and age at first marriage is increasing. I get that. It used to be that getting married was the reliable way of getting regular sex. Plus there was the whole expectation of 'getting married and settling down'. Becoming a contributing part of the community. That doesn't happen much anymore. People move to different communities to find work, or go to school. And then they grow roots there. Just like we did. Or maybe they don't, and are the X Y Z of no fixed address in the police reports. I can still remember news stories ending with "This is Jocko Thomas reporting from police headquarter."

Here's a few of the house, from way, way, WAY back, fall of 1984. With the then new best car ever.

Here's that same view from late last year.

And while you've seen these, here we are, those callow youths. You'd think I could have got a haircut for my own wedding.

And today.

Advice for staying married 40 years? You can't expect perfection. Learn to live with imperfection. Both of you. Respect your partner and support them. Take your time deciding who to marry and talk about money first. There shouldn't be any surprises when it comes to money. 

The wedding isn't the important part, it's the easy part. Round up the appropriate authority and some family and friends, say I do, sign some paperwork and it's all over. Big whoop. People who spend big dollars on a wedding are stupid. Put the money towards a home. Celebrate the actual accomplishments; the anniversaries, if you have children celebrate their events. 

And guys, the most important words you can say are "yes dear."

Of the Day

Driftwood (NZ)

Film

Linda

Newfoundland

Polar bears

Why ever didn't I publish this, and maybe I did

This fence no longer exists.

90 days, or so ago

2024 Image of the Year

I'm running a little late this year. No idea why. Normally by Christmas I'm down to a dozen or so finalists. As I start to write this on New Year's Day, I'm looking at 110 images that made the top of the list across the year. That's out of almost 1837 images edited for me, and not for a race or the community. If I believe Lightroom, there are 17851 images over all, but there are a bunch of virtual copies. Lightroom counts an image with a virtual copy as two images. There's probably an easy way of finding out how many virtual copies there are, and doing some math to find the actual number of images, but I don't know it.

It doesn't matter. Onwards. I don't think anyone really cares how many are colour or black and white, or were converted from one to the other. Or how many are film vs digital. Or how many are long exposures vs a normal exposure. (Just in case someone actually does care, I happen to know that exposure ranges from a very, very fast 1/3200 of a second, to just over two minutes.) Or how many are documentary for some reason, or are aspirations to art. Just at this very moment I'm looking at image file number 8137 from early April, of my white Sorel snow boots. I don't have the slightest idea why I would have taken the photo of them, let alone edited it, and have no memory of doing it. The ones before and after are no help in deciphering the mystery.

I went back and reread the 2023 Image of the Year post. I started the year wanting to think about images and books, and I did several books. People tend to gush a bit as they look at them, so I think that part has worked out well. I'll be doing more. (In a later thought I just had an idea for a book, and if I hustle, I get a Blurb discount.)  In past years I provided links to previous Image of the Year posts, but not this year. Call me lazy, if you must, but they're easy enough to find. Look in the blog roll over there on the right and open the dates, looking for January. The Image of the Year post will reveal itself.

The new thing in 2024 was to start printing my work in a dark room. Old school, enlarger, chemicals, and all. This is an entirely different experience, and leads to looking at photos in an entirely different way. Images look different in print than on a computer screen. Some are significantly better. Some turn out to be disappointments for one reason or another. Dust, hairs, or an image that isn't as good as I thought it was. Or maybe I haven't figured out how to make the print look good. It's more complicated than it first appears.

In fact, that kind of complicated my process for selecting image of the year. While reviewing the 3 star images wondering if any should be bumped up to 4 stars, I was also thinking if any of the film images should be printed. I'm not terribly good at doing two things at once, and no better at thinking about two things at once. Let's just say there was some backing and forthing.

Several of my finalists (I'm down to 20 at the moment) have been printed, and I'm thinking about printing several more. I need to keep in mind if I'm thinking of the print, or the digital version. One of the photos I printed looks amazing on paper (it's framed and on our mantlepiece) but the digital version isn't quite as nice. That's been true of several photos. 

Print images, either in a book or from a darkroom are likely to be the focus of my photography in the coming year. I've already been asking myself if I would print that scene if I press the shutter button. That leads to fewer photos being taken. Which might lead to fewer blogs, or fewer photos in the blogs. One of my readers asked a question about my photos and he is right. Watch for that change in photos edited from now going forward. Those who live in Calgary and want to see what I'm up to need only make a coffee date and ask me to bring along books or prints.

So what's the best from 2024, you ask? Out of the short list, there are all sorts of reasons to pick one or another. The one where I was all set up for a waterfall long exposure and I got mooned by a woman oblivious to my standing there. The most colourful with the fastest shutter speed doing interesting things to the texture of water, or the texture of water with a long exposure. A beautiful model who suggested such a fun photo session. The most amazing clear reflections in several years, or maybe the foggy reflection. Mist rising from the ocean to the tasteful seagull chorus. The awesome textures of black and white film. The one that smacked me upside the head with the sense of place and allusions to greater things. How can a close up photo of a polar bear not be wonderful. I could tell a story about any of theses.

Decisions, decisions. I think I'll go enjoy this glass of wine and carry out my fuzzy blanket substrate obligations to the demanding mammal.

2nd Runner Up

The photo most unlike anything I've ever done. One of the most technically difficult photos I've ever done, one where I had to think through exactly how the camera sees things, and how to use the settings to get what I wanted, and get the timing exactly right. Good thing there were lots of opportunities.

1st Runner Up

Who doesn't love polar bears? I have a bunch of nice photos of them, but I keep coming back to this one. I'm not likely to ever see another polar bear in the wild again.

Image of the Year

I know some of you are asking yourself if I've lost my grip. But no, I don't think so. The instant I saw this scene a whole bunch of things flashed through my mind, since we had just walked up a boardwalk where many of the slats were painted with memorials to people that had passed away.

If I'm working on photos of the idea of something, rather than just of something, then this one is the best I did all year.

December Image of the Month

These were all taken before December, but my rule for film is that when they're developed and digitized is what counts. Which is why one of the images that made it to the podium is from the Elk Lakes road trip back in October.

And yes, these are all film. More and more of my images where I'm trying to create art, are taken on film. Whatever art means. I've been reading a couple of Bruce Barnbaum books just lately, and that might be affecting how I think about photography.

2nd Runner Up

1st Runner Up

Lunch with Michelle.

It isn't always about a clear, sharp, technically perfect image. I printed this last night, and the print looks better.

Image of the Month

Who doesn't love that smile? 

The polar bear of anticipation

There he appeared, off in the distance. Strolling towards us at a polar bear pace, pausing every now and then to sniff the breeze. It's really quite majestic. Most of the people in the tundra buggy were out on the balcony, cameras clicking like mad. Towards the end, as the bear emerged from the bush onto what passes for a road, the woman beside me was muttering, "come to mama pretty bear, come to mama." That bear decided to stroll behind the buggy that was behind us, to our disappointment.

More of a scrappy Michelle

Here's more of the photos from the Michelle scrapyard session in early October. There are two different cameras and several different films. The images from this ramble are spread across several blogs over several months because of when I developed the film. I suppose if I were a considerate blogger, I'd have waited till they were all ready to be shared in one big blog, so you wouldn't have to think about the narrative, or work to see the flow. Then again, maybe there will be a book.

I remember going through that scrapyard with a buddy looking for some particular metal for something or other. The details are lost in time. I was not surprised to see the no trespassing signs. I'm pretty sure that with nice light, it would be a great setting for a photo session.

This is one of the lessons that some photographers find hard to learn. Putting something pretty in a picture doesn't necessarily make a good photo. Several of the photos of Michelle are not what most people would call glamorous. The photos from the visit to the scrapyard, for example. There's a vibe to it that I love. I've done some prints of those, and there's one I want to tweak some more.

I'm so fortunate to be friends with Michelle. Either of us can propose a photo idea, play with it a bit, and then make it happen. A good photograph should make the viewer feel something, or engage their attention so that they do more than glance at it. The B&W are more about texture and mood than anything else.

I was having coffee with one buddy who has appeared exactly once in all the photos published on my blogs. I'd love to do a photo session with her, but she doesn't like having her photo taken. I wouldn't do a made up glamour image for her, because that's not particularly her. I've got something else in mind, and I think it would be stunning, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for her to agree.

1.

2. This is what she was so interested in.

3. There are any number of science fiction movies where something emerges from a scrap heap. I waited, but alas.

4. During the ramble after the scrap yard. The location is obvious.

5. A not so obvious location, but along the Bow river. I've got a printing idea in mind for this one.

6. From the same scrapyard tour.

7. I know perfectly well this camera and lens flares when pointed at the sun or a really bright light, but I haven't figured out exactly when or where it will appear. I thought I had the camera in the shade of a telephone pole, and there wouldn't be a flare.

8. We really liked this faded red phone booth. The film captures that red, and her red hair perfectly. I admit to thinking about the Superman changing in a phone booth thing, starting with the jeans and raw sunlight look, and then emerging from the booth in an elegant gown, with some light modifiers to soften the light.

9.

10.

Of the Day

Driftwood (NZ)

Film Kodak Gold 200

From an autumn walk not far from home.

Linda and Newfoundland

Polar bears

Why ever didn't I publish this, and maybe I did

Which reminds me I haven't done anything like this for a while. Maybe in the new year...

90 days, or so ago. October 5.

During a visit to Canmore to meet up with my friend Susi and her husband Mike. I somehow hadn't known there was a river walk through the middle of town.