Friday, November 6, 2015

2000

Here we are, at the 2000th blog post.




Whodathunkit? No cake, though, like I did for 1000 where I posted a bit of a blog retrospective. If you're a new reader you might want to go back and see what you missed.

I began 2932 days ago, so I've pumped out a blog every 1.46 days. Set your calendars because I've no intention of stopping. There's been a bit of variety in that number. Sometimes I go a month or more blogging every day. Sometimes it's every other day. I still don't have much trouble thinking of things to say.

So who is this Keith guy, and what makes him think he is a blogger? Well, for a start, I break ALL the rules about blogging, and I'm proud of it. I don't monetize my blog. I don't stick to one topic. I don't publish on a regular schedule. I don't pester my readers with emails, unless they've signed up for them. I don't follow any of the rules about building readership, because I'm not in this to get a ton of readers that I can then take advantage of somehow. I don't do product reviews. I don't produce short blogs, with easy words and lots of pictures. In fact, several people have described my blog as a "wall'o text." But some of them at least read it. A few special people have done guest blogs, but I don't do them as a rule.

I'm doing this because I enjoy it. I write what I please, when I please. Some of you are amused. I suspect that some of you are appalled, wondering what I'll say next.

One reader wanted a decade by decade story of my life as the AMA. Gawd. It was the only request, so I suppose I can't plead that I lost it. My mother reads this blog, and I'm pretty sure her recollections will differ from mine. But let's take a quick run at it and see what happens. Anything for my readers, after all.

Let's for no particular reason start at 7. Living in Toronto, on the East Mall. I'm in Grade 2, I think. Struggling with the whole concept. Not liking school. I think I nearly failed several grades. We found out later I needed glasses. I have memories of that time, but almost no memories of school itself in Grades 1, 2, and 3 while in Toronto. The ones I have are not happy. There are few photos of me at this age and I don't think I have any of them. Or maybe I do, and the trauma of seeing them has erased the memories.

17. Living in Smalltown, Ont, going to high school. Still struggling with school. Driving when possible. I'm a skinny kid, though I've discovered beer, and that servers in a bar tend not to ask for ID when you're taller than them. (Beer is 95 cents a bottle.) Shortly I will start packing on a pot belly. I haven't the slightest idea what I want to do for a living when I grow up. This is a recurring theme. There was a house fire, so the number of photos of me younger than grade 5 is very small. Very. Small.

27. Living in Calgary. Married, much to my astonishment that someone would have me. I was a callow youth. I am the cautionary tale of the female BDD strategy. (Bonk, Drag, Domesticate.) We are in the process of buying this house. Gained and lost that potbelly. I'm active in the SCA, dressing up in leather and beating my friends with sticks. I'm working at the City as a plant operator. Shiftwork hasn't tried to kill me yet, though that will come soon enough. I got very lucky. Still not many photos, since I was the one holding the camera, when we remembered to take it places.

37. (According to the terms of the mother son agreement, this must be a hypothetical age. She is only 29.) This is a bit of a lost time for me. I left the City, went to school a couple years, then started at Nova keeping track of gas volumes in a big pipeline network. I'm slowly gaining weight, and getting less active. Hardly any more photos of me.

47. (A very hypothetical age.) Still married. Worked at Nova, BP, BP/Amoco (pronounced BP, the Amoco is silent), then BP, and then Skystone Engineering. Loved working there. Gained a ton of weight. Shortly after starting at Skystone I realized I weighed nearly 300 pounds. I started swimming again. I remember I used to be able to swim 1000 m in 20 minutes and not get into the aerobic zone, and could reliably do it under 17 minutes and was hoping to break 16. It took years to get back to 20 minutes. I get started on triathlon, inspired by my buddy Susi. I start losing weight again. I was asked if there are any photos of me when I was big. The answer is no. Somewhere in the next 10 years we will buy a digital camera. I keep a firm grip on it.

57. (A completely hypothetical impossible age. I still think of myself as being early 30's.) Still married, still living in the same house. The triathlon stuff worked out really well, culminating with Ironman Canada in 2010. You can see a collection of posts here. Worked my way through several companies, and started working as a contractor. Working at Penn West, and I'm  practically the last person I know there. I take great pride in having melted the brains of several bosses as I try to explain, via complex spreadsheets, what they ought to be doing to fix the problems I've found. The iPhone takes wonderful pictures. Some are even of me. Here's the earliest digital photo of me I can find, taken in Turin at the Slow Food Festival cira 2008.


67. (Remember what I said about hypothetical?) Married. Same house. Working part time on projects that interest me, but mostly retired. Except for being a famous novelist, with Dwen's World creating a new genre of literary fiction that takes the world by storm. There are movie offers, e-versions, foreign editions, and publishers throwing money at me to reprint my books.

77. (I hope you've got the hypothetical part down solid.) Still married, and the house is still standing with us in it. My standing is a little more unsteady, but I'm working hard on staying fit so I can enjoy the adulation of being a world famous author, and survive the trip to become the writer in residence on the moon.

87. (Still hypothetical, almost mythical.) I've withdrawn from the world a little, still writing, traveling, and enjoying life while I still can. Other than writing, work consists mostly of being paid to talk while people listen and take notes. I escape a write in ballot campaign to make me Prime Minister of a Unified North America. (The USA collapsed just like the Roman empire did, and Canada picked up the pieces. It all works much better now.)

97. (Getting a bit more hypothetically creaky.) Since I'm widely regarded as a has-been, over the hill, and "what, is he still alive?", I keep to myself. I took up bee-keeping, with a tiny bout of spying on the side. (Some of you surely must get the reference?)

107. The singularity has arrived.

So, that's a nice life, don't you think?

And the blog you ask. What's good on the blog that I might have missed? First of all, the long reigning most read blog post, Stock on Road means only one thing complete with awesome comments, was dethroned by a determined bot that moved Run for Sherry into first by a large margin. I don't really count it though, since I know it wasn't real readers like you.

From oldest to newest, starting from 1000, or October 2011, picked because they make me happy, or were noted as being good.

My buddy Beth of Shut Up and Run fame tagged me here for a day in the life. Lots of photos.

One of my better essays, Genetic Consequences.

Some Deep Thoughts about me, in case you're still interested.

In addition to an Inner Shark, might there be an Inner Polar Bear? Includes a snazzy graph.

Here's lots more about my Inner Shark, with the tiniest bit of ranty swearing at the end.

One of my best rants ever, about a subject everybody loves. Boobs. Good comments too.

Ballroom dance, and triathlon. A discussion of athleticism.

One of my more frothing rants, where Alberta politics and religion mix.

One of my rare filks. Cheap Trick hasn't sent assassins yet, so they can't be too offended.

Another rant on modern life, with unrelated cat photo.

A tagging, and commentary on aging. Sister Madonna Buder forever!

The cat world view.

The care and feeding of a Mo, along with the inner shark. I can never shave it off. Nobody would recognize me.

I think this is the longest post, but maybe not. A ranty essay on health care. Get a big cup of coffee.

I'm a business analyst. I think about processes a lot. Even at a race.

I like Norse proverbs as applied to running.

Best tusks ever! And company on the run.

This will be the last one I leave you with. I hope it sticks in your mind, and you do your part, trying to make being a driver or pedestrian safer.

When will 3000 happen? At a day and a half per blog, that's near the end of 2019. But don't wait till then. Come back till you've read all the links above, and followed the linked within buttons at the bottom of each blog, and all the links in the blogs themselves, and keep coming back for all the good stuff between now and the end of 2019. Hope you enjoy the ride. Don't forget to comment.

Feel free to leave comments on any of those that strike your fancy. Comments are moderated but should go public within a few hours.

6 comments:

  1. This was really good! And I'm pleased to be considered one of the special "few". Keep on keeping on--Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Amy! I hope to. Who knows what I'll come up with next?

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  2. Replies
    1. Thanks Leana! I'm sort of surprised myself.

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  3. Congrats on post #2000 Keith! You blog for all the right reasons. The decade where you were 27 sounds most "interesting...." The decade where you are 87 sounds interesting too. Perhaps you are a robobee? http://www.fastcoexist.com/1682095/this-robotic-bee-just-took-flight-to-pollinate-crops-and-maybe-spy-on-you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Michelle! When I figure out what I am, I'll let you know.

      Delete

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