Thursday, July 12, 2012

pathway chicken

I ran mid afternoon today. It's a complicated scheduling thing. I'd go into it, but I have a rant building and I hear my bed calling me. If you really want the scheduling details you can comment and I'll fill you in. I fully expect my insomniac readers to show up.

Another hot day, but the path was mostly empty. Except the ones that did show up were all over it, wandering around like they had been branded on both ankles. Runners and bikers both. What don't people understand about keep right? So simple. On the way back there were a couple guys on the left, shambling along. No intent to actually turn left and walk on the grass or anything, just walking on the wrong side of the path. I had been dodging people all week, even just strolling, and I'm done with that shit now. I locked my eyes straight ahead and kept on running. The left most guy stayed there, and I didn't care. I kept going. At about the last minute he pushed the guy beside him over and they moved over just enough, just in time. I would have run into him, over him, and kept on going.

Maybe one lunch time what I'm going to do is get a bullhorn and set up one of those elevated chairs like the lifeguards use at the pools. I'll get a big umbrella to keep the sun off, and start providing feedback to people, and commenting on their lack of walking skills.

YOU IN THE RED CAP AND YELLOW TOP, KEEP RIGHT! MOVE IT OVER!
YOU WITH THE LAB, GET THAT DOG UNDER CONTROL, HEEL BOY HEEL!
YO BIKERS THREE ABREAST, GET A LIFE AND HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS.
THE GEEZERS THAT JUST STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH TO REVIEW YOUR LIFE CHOICES - THAT'S NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE, MOVE IT ONTO THE GRASS TO DEAL WITH YOUR DEMENTIA ISSUES.
SPEED LIMIT IS 20 K TRI-BIKE-BOI, NOT 40, SLOW IT DOWN OR GET ON THE ROAD WITH THE BIG BOYS.
YOU WITH THE WHITE SHIRT, THAT'S A NASTY HEEL STRIKE YOU HAVE GOING THERE, BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE PATH.
YOU WITH THE BARE CHEST, PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON, NOBODY NEEDS TO SEE THAT.
SHOULDER CHECK, PEOPLE, DO A SHOULDER CHECK BEFORE YOU PULL OUT AND PASS SOMEONE.
HEY PAL WITH THE IPHONE, YOU'RE PROVIDING A GOOD EXAMPLE OF WHY WE NEED A DISTRACTED RUNNING LAW.
IN THE YELLOW TOP, YOU'RE MAKING PHEOBE LOOK GOOD, GET THOSE ARMS UNDER CONTROL BEFORE YOU HIT SOMEONE.
BUDDY IF IT HURTS THAT MUCH, TAKE A PILL AND SLOW DOWN.

I could go on.

My run was modest today, from the downtown Y to Crowchild and back. That's about 7.2 K or so. Just under 50 minutes, nice and easy. Legs and back feeling good, lungs on top of the situation even though it was hot.

10 comments:

  1. Nice run! I loved running that route as well when I was training for 10k - miss it lots. Gonna take at least a couple of weeks I think before I can build up to that distance again, esp in this heat.

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  2. It's nice to run along the river. I'll probably do it more over the summer. As long as I don't push too hard, I'm liking running in the heat.

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  3. I feel your pain Keith, it has been ridiculous lately! Runners in large grops that won't move over... Today I passed a lady on her bike who was firmly planted on the left hand side, then looked at me like I was crazy when I shouted "on your left"!

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  4. Want to join me on my life guard chair by the pathway? We can take turns with the bullhorn.

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  5. Oh I agree Keith. It's ridiculous! We sometimes mountain bike through some park paths and people are morons who don't even move over when you yell "on you left" far in advance. The 3-4 abreast annoy me most. And the ones with earphones and music uP so loud that they have no idea what's happening around them.

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  6. HAHAHAHA! This post is awesome. I would love to see that. What do you do for the deaf people or the people that are blasting ipods so loud they don't hear your feedback?

    On a serious note, sometimes you just want to hit people upside the head...

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  7. HAH! I love this post. Or something I have started doing when people zoom by me on the path near me without letting me know, "Get a damn bell!"

    A friend of a friend of mine, who was riding at less than 10 miles per hour on a path, crashed in order to avoid a toddler that the parents were not watching and who darted out from behind a bush into her lane. She broke her arm in two places, bit through her lip, and has some amazing face road rash.

    May I join you in your lifeguard chair?

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  8. Well, the deaf people, that might be tough. I don't know sign. The iPods ect, I think the bullhorn would be heard over their music. Failing that, addressing the people next to the iPod-ers, importuning them to pull out the earbuds, and them mock and humiliate them. That might work.

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  9. Yes you may! The more the merrier! That's a bummer about your buddy. I hope the parents chipped in for the medical bills. I don't mind the zooming by without a bell if there is lots of room, but if they ding their bell I give them a wave.

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  10. No. These people didn't even check to see if she was OK.


    I figure the path is for the most part, pedestrians, so I try to tone it down. If I want to ride fast, I get on the road. But that's just me.

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