Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Dread Pirate Roberts workout words

You all know who the Dread Pirate Roberts is. I hope. If not, in one way I envy you for the first time experience you could have. The sooner the better, for you. And yet in another way, I pity you, because you've been missing out on so much, for so long. It's got everything. Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles.

There are people known to have peed themselves laughing while reading or watching. I realize that it came out before time began for some of you; the book in 1973, and the movie in 1987. Even so. The movie is very good, and the book is better. Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about can stay after class (or leave a comment) and I'll share.

What does this have to do with my workout? The words plank and pushups. Side plank with leg lifts. Pushups to failure or poor form. Three sets. I'll have you know I exceeded my expectations, but didn't set a new best for pushups. 5, 6, and 7. Since you asked with breathless interest. Ouch. That was 30 minutes worth of core done per schedule.

The bike was a slow warmup, not feeling particularly spinny. The maintain 90 rpm and add gears every minute did me in. I lasted 7 minutes at 90, and another 30 seconds trying to get my legs to go 90 and them not doing it. They were all quivery and quaking, twitching, and shaky. Pedaled easy a good 5 minutes for recovery, then started the next set, maintaining 90 in an easy gear, nice and aerobic. Well, shit. My legs thought it was going to get hard again, and got all pissy with me. The easy spin went to crap about the 10 minute mark, and some niggles were getting to the point of starting to think about them.

Then *IT* happened.

This has probably happened to all of you with different foods, though some might not admit it. A pair of Linda's cinnamon pinwheels mugged me. They marched downstairs, dragged me off the bike, and forced me to eat them. Fresh, hot, young, and frisky pinwheels. I didn't stand a chance. Only 60 minutes on the bike. Friday is supposed to be nice. With any luck all the snow will melt. I'd like to try to ride home from work.

22 comments:

  1. R.O.U.S's? Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

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  2. There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It'd be a pity to damage yours.

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  3. You mock my pain.

    Life IS pain highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You seem a decent fellow; I hate to kill you.

    You seem a decent fellow; I hate to die.

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  5. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

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  6. I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

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  7. V: He didn't fall? INCONCEIVABLE!

    I: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!

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  9. Never heard of it, so I'm off to google it. :)

    I hope you are recovering from your mugging. I hope the bruises are fading from the struggle against those vicious pinwheels. LOL!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Not topless as you thing but swinging free.

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  11. Damn! As soon as i saw your title I was all eager impress you with my vast repertoire of "Princess Bride" quotations. And then Copiaverborum and Xenia went and hogged them all up! INCONTHIEVABLE!!!

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  12. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

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  13. We are men of action. Lies to not become us.

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  14. No more rhymes now, I mean it.

    Anybody want a peanut?

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  15. Jump in after her! I don't swim. I only dog paddle. AGGHH!

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  16. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles

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  17. It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

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  18. Thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice papercut and pour lemon juice on it?

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  19. I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

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  20. Jeez - I guess I need to put it in my Netflicks because I have NO IDEA WHAT THIS MOVIE IS! But I do like the sound of those fresh pinwheels. Mmmmmmm.

    (Comment #21). :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. OK, Comment #22. My husband knows every single movie ever made (and most books too, his mom was an AP English teacher) and I just asked him about Dread Pirate Roberts and he's never heard of it either.

    I've never stumped him. Ever. So, good work. Now I'm intrigued.

    ReplyDelete

Looking forward to reading your comment!

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